Looking for the Professor
by darkrogue1
Summary: Crossover serious crackfic. Blake and Mortimer x Doctor Who. Thirteen decided to look for River to become her second wife. When she hears rumors of a Professor with a time machine she goes to investigate. Follows Project Faust.


_London, 3051_

"Isn't it strange how everything changes and yet nothing important really ever does ?" Philip Mortimer and Francis Blake were returning to the Chronoscaphe* after visiting the future in what was so far a rather dull adventure.

"Wait." The captain suddenly pressed a hand against the professor's arm to make him stop. "Someone is there !"

There was indeed a small silhouette by their time machine, visible only as a shadow in the bright light that was coming from a door behind it.

The two men exchanged a glance and cautiously advanced, slightly worried that someone was tampering with their only means to return to their own time.

As they approached the craft, the shadow took a more definite humanoid feminine shape and they could see that the door behind her was... a police box ? A blue wooden police box that wasn't there when they first arrived ?

Blake's eyes widened and once again he signaled for Mortimer to stop. He had heard rumors and read reports in his previous career, but had never met the alien Doctor himself.

Now they were close enough to hear a voice. The woman was talking to someone whose responses couldn't be heard.

"Yes, you would find it primitive, wouldn't you ?"

"No, no, of course I wouldn't replace you. But I really don't think River would travel in such a flimsy thing other than for an emergency."

"No, that's for sure."

Once again the two men looked at each other, then Mortimer nodded and went forward into the light, making himself known.

"Hello, there. May I help you ?" the professor asked.

"Why, hello ! Is this your time machine ? Your conceptual geometer isn't really well calibrated. You should arrange that for more precision." Then the strange woman turned back towards the lightened box. "What do you mean I'm not one to speak ?!"

Ignoring that last exclamation, the professor squatted down to see the exposed circuitery she was refering to. "What do you call conceptual geometer ?"

"There." She pointed. The discussion quickly turned technical and Blake, completely ignored by the two scientists, turned his attention to the blue box.

Slowly, he went around it, deliberately ignoring the open door at first. He knocked on the wood, looked at the paint. Anyway he looked at it, it was a 1960s British police box. Then, slowly, fearfully, he went to peak inside and froze. It was one thing to know of it, but quite another thing to actually see it with his own eyes. It really was bigger on the inside !

Meanwhile, the doctor and the professor had finished their technical discussion for the moment and, looking for his companion, Mortimer was surprised to see him staring transfixed into the light.

"Francis ? Is everything all right ?"

Turning away and trying to regain his composure, the captain went back to them, somewhat staggering and his voice slightly shaking. "Yes, quite all right. All is well, Philip." The box behind him was a wonder, but even more wonderous was the woman in front of them.

"Oh, my apologies. I forgot to introduce myself. Professor Philip Angus Mortimer, at your service." He extended a hand toward the woman."And my dear old friend here is Captain Francis Blake."

"The Doctor." She answered, and shook the hand absentmindedly, looking at said Captain, then frowning. The man was _saluting_ !

Seeing the frown, Blake stopped saluting. He shrugged then proferred his hand forward instead. "It is an honor to meet you, Ma'am."

"Doctor."

"Ma'am ?" Mortimer asked, surprised at the deference with which Blake treated the woman.

So he explained : "The Doctor has saved our planet quite a number of times, if unofficially.**"

"I don't like him." The Doctor remarked to Mortimer, refering to Blake. "He's a _soldier_ ."

The professor took a step forward, stepping protectively between Blake and the Doctor. "So what ? " He asked, suddenly angry. "I fought in the Second and Third World War myself ! You defended the Earth from invasion he said, how is that any different when the invader coming to kill you and burn your homes isn't from outer space ? Aren't there moments when you have to take a stand and fight for your lives, or for freedom ? Wouldn't you take that stand ?"

The Doctor considered a moment the man taking a stand before her and the silence streched.

"I did." She finally said.

But a few seconds later the rage was there again. "But that doesn't stop him from being a mindless puppet. I don't see you saluting around ! At what, barely thirty ? Just a few years in the army and no more brain ?!"

The contrast between the Doctor's angry voice and Blake's calm one was huge. "I have lived ninety-seven years, Doctor." He said slowly. "I mostly grew up in a garrison as my father was military, and I only retired from active duty less than thirty years ago. Some habits are hard to break."

"What ?!" Swishing out her screwdriver, the Doctor took a reading of the two men before her. Human, definitely, and way older in some ways than their appearance would imply. "How ?"

"A friend of mine, Professor Akira Satô and his daughter invented a rejuvenation technique. We served as guinea pigs and I gave him a copy of my Chronoscaphe in exchange***..." The professor went on, telling her their story.

There was a lot that the Doctor didn't understand in what Professor Mortimer was explaining, but this wasn't unusual. She usually didn't understand _people_ . However she had a current obsession and anything relevent to that seemed limpid. "You are telling me that there is another Professor going around in a time machine ? " And she turned around, raising her arms and shouting "Great !" in a manner that suggested that this wasn't great at all.

Then she turned and look at the professor with an intense look. "Come with me. " She said, before turning her attention away completely and going into a rant of her own. "I'm looking for River, Professor, Professor River Song, my wife. She's an archeologist. She time travels too. I haven't met her with this body yet, so I could be the one she was talking about, her second wife, or maybe her first, or both. Both could work. Anyway, River, finding River, if the TARDIS can discount your time signature in the search I'd find her faster, so... " She turned towards the professor again. "Come with me ?"

"Sure." The professor answered. Really, time travelling with someone so knowledgeable about _time_ ? Looking for an _archeologist_ ? Helping a _lady_ in trouble to find her _wife_ ? There wasn't a lot to hesitate about. Only... "Francis ?" He asked, turning to the other man.

The captain put a reassuring hand on Mortimer's shoulder. "Whither thou goest, Philip." And then, putting his other hand on the professor's, he added softly. "And whenever."

The Doctor looked at the exchange with pondering eyes. Maybe everything wasn't lost about that soldier, the pair of them was intereting... anyway, she needed to find River.

Turning around she walked into the TARDIS. "Follow me. This is my spaceship. Time and Relative Dimension in Space, TARDIS for short. Ah !" Making way for the professor to step in she put up a hand to stop the captain. "No weapons on board."

He had a slight smile and opened empty hands. "I'm not carrying." He bend up and pulled up his trouser's leg where the cloth had kept the mark of a hidden holster. There wasn't one. "I only take firearms to the past."

The Doctor considered him carefully. "Because you know you have a violent path and are optimistic about your future ?"

Blake chuckled. "Mortimer is the optimistic one. I just know that in any future those weapons are completely obsolete."

"Right." The Doctor said before she let him through as well and closed the door behind him.

Meanwhile, Mortimer could not believe his eyes and kept turning on himself, bewildered by the complex machinery around him. "It's bigger." He said to Blake as he came to him. "It's bigger inside !"

The captain put a steadying hand on his shoulder. Mabye he wasn't this bad after all, the Doctor thought, going around them to the commands in the center of the room.

"Let's find River then !" She said instead. " _C'est parti_ !**** "

* * *

* See The Time Trap and Project Faust

** I had planned to refer to the President of Earth thing, but that's 21 st century stuff. Spoilers.

*** See Project Faust

**** Off we go !


End file.
